Author: admin

Bliss!

Right now (as I begin this blog), I am sat in a local cafe at a meditation centre. I’ve not been here before, though I have been trying to get here for the last few months, since it was recommended to me  – and today, I made it. So there is no better place to begin this Self Love and Sacred Space blog, than here!

I arrived at midday, enjoyed a nice cup of coffee, took part in the lunch time meditation, I’ve have had some lunch and just about to order a Mocha to accompany me with this blog.

Sacred Space

What does this mean? In my podcast discussion with ‘Talking Wellbeing’ a few months ago on the topic of Self Love (which unfortunately is no longer available on you tube), we organically started a conversation on ‘creating a sacred space’ and for those of you who heard the podcast might remember that James referred to the purification process that people all over the world, amongst various spiritual, cultural and religious backgrounds go through before entering a sacred space – he asked me what I thought about this in relation to Self Love.

Curious

Since the podcast I was intrigued to find out what YOU thought about a ‘sacred space’, I posted a few poll questions on instgram, to ask people if they have a sacred space, what it is like, how they would describe it, do they associate the word sacred with religion, or nature and how does this sacred space help them?

Your feedback

I had various responses! – (Thank you to everyone who responded)

The general consensus was that the purpose of all the sacred spaces, were to engage in ‘quiet’ time, which was ‘private’, in order to find and connect with a sense of ‘peace’. Someone wrote,

“It helps me shake off the days nonsense, breathe and just be me”  I love this! I think it is fair to say we all lead lives that can be demanding and challenging in many respects, and Like Buddha said suffering is inevitable (we cannot change that!). The only thing we can change is how we choose to deal with all the stuff that bothers us and weighs us down – and one of these ways is by creating and entering a sacred space.

Start in your home

The person who wrote that comment, shared that her sacred space is in her bedroom, on her bed where she keeps her diary, she lights candles and writes about her day (when she feels down, or even happy for that matter), accompanied with a coffee. The candles and soft coloured bed sheets help her to relax her mind. That is a perfect example of how simple it is to create a sacred space for you!

Get centred

Someone else said that having a sacred space helps them to realign. Yep, I get that! Entering a sacred space gets you to focus on you which helps to create a better balance -‘realigning’ suggests one is in some way ‘out of balance’. Maybe overtired, burning out, or giving too much to others etc. A sacred space enables you to give to YOU! Recharge and get aligned!

Mother earth

I discovered from my poll answers that there are a lot of nature lovers out there, and it is in nature they connect with their sacred space. Someone shared their sacred space is a 200 year old tree, which is local to her and omits fantastic energy. She often goes and spends time by and with the tree. There are many special sacred sites in nature worth exploring – if you don’t get out much, then why not give it a try and see what you discover.

Are you a tree hugger?

I must say I do love trees and there are some I just can’t walk past without giving them a hug! There is so much going on underneath the surface with trees, how they support each other through their roots, which if you are interested in finding more about then read ‘The Hidden Life of Trees’. I have not read it myself (yet), but colleagues at work who have been so touched by it have recommended it (It’s on my audio list!). 

Religion?

I wondered if people associated the word ‘sacred’ to ‘religious’, I somehow assumed that most would (even though I don’t), however to my surprise,  71% said no. Of course for some ‘sacred’ might be associated to religion and rituals but not for all.

Change of scenery

Today, I made a decision to physically retreat from my usual environment, come to a sacred site and participate in a meditation. This allowed not only my surroundings to feel ‘sacred’ but for me to also enter my own internal sacred space. What I mean by ‘feel’ sacred is to be in a place which feels comfortable, peaceful, away from noise and distractions. Now by no means do you need to retreat to a place like this to feel this, as you can create this space wherever you want, starting off with at home, with the example above!

So how would I describe a sacred space?

This is a specific designated space that one creates or associates with, when entering into usually on their own (or it may be with others) to connect with themselves, ‘just to be’, taking time out away from the world, day to day stuff and distractions. This quote by Joseph Campbell sums it up for me;

‘Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.’

Powerful right? What any physical sacred space gives you is the opportunity to connect with the sacred space within you, tune into yourself, notice and feel what is going on inside you. Meditation, reflection, walking in nature, sitting in the garden can all give you this – but the key is to feel comfortable with going within (a lot of people struggle with this, if they are avoiding their true feelings). Self love is being honest with yourself. Entering your sacred space allows you to be honest and feel with your heart.

Atmosphere 

In a corner in my bedroom, I have a tiny alter, with a few crystals, incense burner and candles, occasionally I add flowers, and at the moment I am looking for a statue of Kuan Yin – Goddess of Mercy and Compassion, as I am immensely drawn to her. This sacred space also acts as a visual reminder.  When I sit by it, I automatically enter my internal sacred space, as it is what I associate it with and for – just being in that space for only a few minutes strips away daily stresses. It’s like an internal hug!

The ‘Self’ 

Your  sacred space may be a reading corner, or a favourite undisturbed part of your home, away from others. One lady said that she uses her outhouse in the garden, as her sacred space, though she set it up for work purposes (therapist), she in the end decided to designate the space purely for her relaxation! This is an act of self love and self value. Your sacred space could even be your bath tub and by adding candles, crystals, essential oils, bath salts etc your add more self care!

Just lighting a candle can make all the difference. ‘By lighting a candle, you affirm that you are opening a sacred space.’ (Robert Moss)

Body and mind

Have you ever thought of your body as a sacred space? You live in your body right? How much do you take care of it? Do you put toxic things in there or do you purify it? The same goes for the mind; we spend a lot of time in here! Again, how do you ensure that you keep your mind sacred? What do you fill your mind with?

It is so important to be aware of and consciously work on improving what goes on inside your body and mind – and the more you enter your sacred space, the more you will naturally pay attention to the ‘inside’ – its like shining a torch within.

Sowing the seed

In the podcast Marlon asked if I talk to clients about creating a sacred space and whether I recommend it. I answered by saying that different things resonate with people, what might click with one, does not with another. I talk to people about their holistic health, mind, body, soul and to me having a sacred space is enhancing ones spiritual health. This depends on how ready and open people are to developing this aspect, of course this interlinks with  improving mental health which actually impacts on better physical health too. What I do is sow the seed. Offer the idea to people, and leave it with them.

Growth

The seeds we plant begin and continue to grow and at some point when we are ready to focus on what is growing, we will start to water it more and support it’s growth. It’s the same with self care and self love. Creating a sacred space is good place to begin, after all only you can make the real changes in your life.

Half way

We are six months into the year. If you feel it is important to create and enter a sacred space, then why not start now. Compare the benefits of doing so in December when we approach the end of the year.

-Find or create a space in your home which is clutter free, quiet, undisturbed (at least when you use it)

-Add a candle or something else significant that holds symbolic meaning to you. It could even be a photo or a favourite quote

-Use music. I have not really touched on music in this blog, but different types of music, instruments, sounds etc help to create a sacred space. Find something that ‘connects’ with you.

-Start by setting 10 minutes a day to be in your sacred space

-Remember your sacred space can be in nature or you can access it ‘on the go’ – you can incorporate this into your commute if you travel by public transport, simply by plugging ear phones in and listening to some relaxing music, or meditation and just breathing

Bye for now

I hope you find this blog inspiring and that if you don’t enter your sacred space often, you will now and if you don’t have a sacred space, you may begin to ponder on creating one.

Thank you 🙂

 

So one month ago, I had the honour to sit and speak with James and Marlon from Talking Wellbeing about Self Love. The podcast unfortunately is no longer available on you tube due to a change of management at Talking Wellbeing, however this was my first podcast discussion and I admittedly was quite nervous! There was something about the discussion being recorded, that gave me a bit of ‘stage fright’… (and it was not even live!). All this knowledge, wisdom, experience that I know I have within me and is part of my daily life, (both personally and professionally)… just disappeared and I went BLANK!! I was like ‘I can’t do this!’ – It took three attempts to start the podcast, because as soon the record button was pressed, I froze and didn’t know what to say!

Take a deep breath, focus on the task!

So, I refocused and James said ‘It’s not live Sukhi’ – this put me at ease and something shifted.  I somehow got over it!  I was able to engage in a natural conversation with these two lovely inspirational guys! I think this is a really important point to mention. We all at times feel fear, get nervous and feel anxious – it is normal. What matters is how we cope with and manage such feelings. Do we let them get in the way or do we carry on? This can be applied to any situation or dilemma you may be faced with. Do you face it, despite the nerves, anxieties, doubts or do you dodge it, run and bury your head in the sand?

In this Podcast James, Marlon and I explored Self Love from different angles (as the topic is so huge!), including the things that stop us from loving ourselves! Similarly, Self Love can be embraced or it can dodged! 

As above so below 

Self love flows and deepens – you just need to get started! The infinity symbol, which is my chosen logo for Enlight, is similar to the number 8. Both hold similar meanings;  limitlessness and being in an endless, constant flow. The 8 in numerology is about re-evaluation, which is about  experiencing, learning and growing … to which there is no end point!

So whatever you experience when you are ‘down’ – in the midst of life’s struggles, in the pit, in the darkness – serves as  an opportunity to learn life lessons. This then gives you (if you allow it!) an opportunity to grow by embracing the newness and applying the greater understanding that you have acquired to your life. So, as you pick yourself back up, from the pit and as you continue on your journey, you take your lessons with you and if you decide to apply them to your life (as it is a choice), then you welcome change, you begin to break non-serving cycles, you open yourself up to more… … anything and everything – limitless remember?

Self Love is the journey within 

Getting to know yourself,  your ‘true self’ is an enlightening process. It’s like meeting yourself, and learning about yourself… about the REAL YOU and building a relationship with yourself!

This can feel hard for some, maybe even many, because the truth is, so many people have become disconnected from their true selves and all this talk about ‘self love’ can trigger fear, uncertainty and even make you cringe; self love can be seen as a bit ‘airy fairy’ and many dismiss it!

Marlon summed self love up, really well – he said;

“Self Love is difficult to accomplish, if you have been through a lot, but it is very do-able. You have to start within to find self love. You can’t have self love from any external sources”

Absolutely spot on.

Why do we need Self Love?

So, James asked me why is Self Love Important? How do I explain this in a nutshell? It is SO important in many ways! Hmm …. OK, first of all what is Self Love? What does it mean? We need to understand this first. The concept has somewhat become fashionable and is widely used in the media. So if you’re reading this Ask yourself… What does Self Love mean to me?

It can mean different things to different people. Why? Because we are unique, with unique life experiences, we have different upbringings, backgrounds and life experiences. However the basic components of Self Love, in my opinion, are the same for everyone. “Self Love is the ability to love yourself, understand yourself and it is being comfortable with who you truly are”. These are the words that rolled of my tongue and can you see that this applies to anyone and everyone?

Different, but the same?

We may have different experiences, but we all feel the same emotions (or very similar). We all have, experienced sadness, doubt, anger, grief, disappointment, confusion, jealousy….. right? So how does Self Love fit in here? There is a misconception of Self Love being a state of feeling wonderful and blissful all the time. Nope, that’s not true. Self Love actually is accepting yourself, just where you are, and this very much so includes those parts, you’d rather deny, not face and want to run from. Self Love is embracing not just the good, but the dark and ugly too! Whoa, that feels like hard work! It can be. Self love can be hard, but it is worth it! It has so many benefits.

You don’t know what you don’t know

Self awareness is key! James asked for practical tips of how to go ‘within’. Good question. This can feel really alien to people as ‘going within’ could just be so out the norm for some people.

Before you know what you need to be ‘working on’, you need to know that it’s currently not working. The only way to know that is, is to be aware of it. Sounds obvious, but it’s not really. We don’t know what is going on in our subconscious mind, until we stop to explore it!

Quiet time 

Self awareness can be increased by using many techniques. In the discussion, we mainly talked about reflection. Ask yourself… do I reflect? Do I want to reflect more? How do I reflect? 

Spending time on your own, being in nature, writing and journalling, meditating are all ways in which you can find and create time to reflect. This will enable you to discover what is going on inside you, how you are truly feeling, is there any conflict?

Once you become aware, then you can make a conscious decision about what you want to work on, which issue? which problem? which conflict?

Self love is prioritising time for yourself, pre-schedule it in your diary, don’t just squeeze it in here and there, make it a commitment. 

We discussed Self Love from so many different angles and it really was an interesting, thought provoking conversation. Hope you enjoyed this read. Please share with anyone who could do with hearing the message around Self Love.

Thank you

Best Wishes

Sukhi 🙂